tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.comments2023-09-12T12:07:20.980-04:00cheryl chambleecheryl chambleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15954708196592482951noreply@blogger.comBlogger132125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-56809164763522714692014-01-08T11:33:58.639-05:002014-01-08T11:33:58.639-05:00oh thank you! this means so much to me.oh thank you! this means so much to me.cheryl chambleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15954708196592482951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-30697757430729122242014-01-08T11:33:24.614-05:002014-01-08T11:33:24.614-05:00yippee! thanks for the encouragement, jessica.yippee! thanks for the encouragement, jessica.cheryl chambleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15954708196592482951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-33967522696261730832014-01-08T11:33:00.821-05:002014-01-08T11:33:00.821-05:00thanks so much for the yay + the birthday wishes, ...thanks so much for the yay + the birthday wishes, andrea! xo.cheryl chambleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15954708196592482951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-59207570564874889562014-01-07T22:50:58.519-05:002014-01-07T22:50:58.519-05:00I am a day late but so glad to see this! Hope you ...I am a day late but so glad to see this! Hope you had a fantastic birthday! Much love to you, wonderful woman, and I'm excited for you for your new writing/blogging adventure! xoxo and then some!Nicolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13643529629243816860noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-31934081840254124922014-01-06T15:41:29.213-05:002014-01-06T15:41:29.213-05:00Happy birthday to you Cheryl! And I can't wai...Happy birthday to you Cheryl! And I can't wait for what's new in this space. :)Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00991638626164427455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-64331950097210630752014-01-06T14:42:26.170-05:002014-01-06T14:42:26.170-05:00YAY Cheryl!! Happy Birthday fabulous woman!! So gl...YAY Cheryl!! Happy Birthday fabulous woman!! So glad you were born :)Andreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10600162132913493246noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-82530771150308018992013-02-20T23:07:15.437-05:002013-02-20T23:07:15.437-05:00oh. this makes me so happy. thanks, lady.oh. this makes me so happy. thanks, lady.cheryl chambleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15954708196592482951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-24178150414449263542013-02-20T11:57:15.247-05:002013-02-20T11:57:15.247-05:00Love it.
Love it.<br />Carolynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01619602604227614403noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-41619281543275199102013-02-20T00:56:43.393-05:002013-02-20T00:56:43.393-05:00Reading your blogs is akin to listening to you spe...Reading your blogs is akin to listening to you speak. I love it.Lorma Doonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03598671795138871565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-58317045744886568932012-12-03T22:30:35.279-05:002012-12-03T22:30:35.279-05:00Beautiful. <3 love you tooBeautiful. <3 love you tooDawnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08616435409390033605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-80803570319176267682012-10-18T20:08:25.453-04:002012-10-18T20:08:25.453-04:00Great post about the greatest dad! I have to add ...Great post about the greatest dad! I have to add how he would "flag down the school bus for us in the morning" to the list. Miss him always.KCnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-40348781362720914772012-10-18T20:07:00.070-04:002012-10-18T20:07:00.070-04:00Loved it.Loved it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-85773242698953910712012-10-18T11:57:49.632-04:002012-10-18T11:57:49.632-04:00damn, cheryl. It may be because i'm pregnant o...damn, cheryl. It may be because i'm pregnant or just a little ball of emotion at the best of times, but this is like the fifth post of yours in a row that's made me cry. seriously. quit it!<br />but not really. :)<br />xoJessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00991638626164427455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-31018574713547922552012-10-18T08:57:54.051-04:002012-10-18T08:57:54.051-04:00Great tribute, cheryl! All those everyday-type par...Great tribute, cheryl! All those everyday-type particulars are what make your dad real and admirable. He sounds like a wonderful human being. <br /><br />I love that he made banners! I thought only my dad did that. He even made one when I passed chemistry. :)marianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-45944829930692930032012-10-16T16:21:16.759-04:002012-10-16T16:21:16.759-04:00xo.xo.cheryl chambleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15954708196592482951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-81301436069966447152012-10-16T16:04:56.128-04:002012-10-16T16:04:56.128-04:00AmenAmenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-63204509670752464222012-10-16T15:55:30.176-04:002012-10-16T15:55:30.176-04:00yes, lee! yes, i do. in fact, there was an earli...yes, lee! yes, i do. in fact, there was an earlier version of this post with just such an example from around the time i got married.<br /><br />i don't know that book you mention, but i'll check it out. thanks for your comment and your thoughts. appreciate it, and you.cheryl chambleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15954708196592482951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-58757713876519879862012-10-16T14:55:54.612-04:002012-10-16T14:55:54.612-04:00seriously. i just reread it and it made me cry, ag...seriously. i just reread it and it made me cry, again. Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00991638626164427455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-66544367266302730882012-10-16T14:49:27.058-04:002012-10-16T14:49:27.058-04:00Sometimes I think I can't let go of the weight...Sometimes I think I can't let go of the weight I've put on, because it performs this great secret function of making me less attractive to men. I mean, that's not that secret, that part. But the secret part for me is that I think in some ways I prefer to remain untested. I was known as, or I knew myself as, the girl who cheated on everyone she dated. And yes, there were a lot of complicating reasons for that, and I did a bunch of psychological work on myself, and theoretically anyway the holes that used to be gaping are enough-filled that I wouldn't just jump at the chance to please some stranger if I got ogled in a bar (if, of course, I was ever out at one! alone! hmm.) But I think that once I am ready to lose weight, it will be hard to get over the secret fear that if I drop sixty pounds and am suddenly more attractive to men, that old dynamic will rear its head once more. Which I think is kind of funny, because a big part of being attractive to men (especially that kind of man) was being young and naive and willing, with poor self-esteem. So if I'm 120 lbs but almost-40, with much better self-esteem and a sense of self-possession, what makes me think I will suddenly be super-vulnerable to all this attention from the anonymous swarthy masses? I dunno. Hmm. Thanks for giving me something to think about! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-84798939349608721172012-10-15T17:54:36.437-04:002012-10-15T17:54:36.437-04:00And do you occasionally catch yourself thinking, &...And do you occasionally catch yourself thinking, "Well, when he comes back..." or "I need to share this with him"?<br /><br />I found the book, My Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion helped me clarify what I go through as more and more people leave/cross over/die but I'm still caught up short now and then when I realize that the sharing is done and the coming back impossible. <br /><br />Good work on this one, Cheryl. Cherish who you've got now and let them know it.Lee Rhttp://highstrungdurham.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-46916701109559588722012-10-11T10:19:42.619-04:002012-10-11T10:19:42.619-04:00:) i think most people i know are too hard on the...:) i think most people i know are too hard on themselves.cheryl chambleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15954708196592482951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-35567827089102375332012-10-09T17:29:49.950-04:002012-10-09T17:29:49.950-04:00Changing that dialog is very hard but very necessa...Changing that dialog is very hard but very necessary. You, my love, are wonderful and too hard on yourself.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-74896253630301488542012-10-04T17:18:00.122-04:002012-10-04T17:18:00.122-04:00yes and yes. right you are.yes and yes. right you are.cheryl chambleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15954708196592482951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-33339114024730142482012-10-04T17:16:49.493-04:002012-10-04T17:16:49.493-04:00derek, my favorite part of your comment is that la...derek, my favorite part of your comment is that last line: "it's hard for me to ask for something when i'm busy apologizing for all the selfish and entitled things i did instead." good food for thought.<br /><br />and, as for my specific example in the post: yep. i am indeed now trying to schedule times to talk about specific things!cheryl chambleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15954708196592482951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3762384624354104595.post-82292896334819042622012-10-04T15:26:01.474-04:002012-10-04T15:26:01.474-04:00I read a lot of "undoing" in these examp...I read a lot of "undoing" in these examples - the sense that whatever is wrong or in need isn't actually worth being important. <br /><br />In example one, you don't make it a priority until you don't have enough time to talk about it - which in some way communicates that it isn't that important. When that message is received it hurts your feelings which creates a situation where you get a little validation, but then you still undo that validation by apologizing for getting mad.<br /><br />In example two, the undoing seems to be in both not presenting the authentic concern, and then in creating conflict so you are not able to be heard even if you could present the authentic concern.<br /><br />I think the answer to this is to treat these things as if they really are important. So in the first case, you have to schedule time to talk about it. In the second, you have to question what is causing the initial concern/bad mood.<br /><br />I have a similar problem. I don't treat my needs as valid, and then behave in selfish ways to compensate which seems to effectively invalidate my original desire. It's hard for me to ask for something when I'm busy apologizing for all the selfish and entitled things I did instead.diggityderekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01414273198080474724noreply@blogger.com