basted

the second installment in a week-long exploration of the rituals of apologizing

she sits and she stews.
bubbling broiling basting baking in a badbadbadbadbadbad soup
her nostrils are flared
(which she doesn't know).
she is biting her lower lip
on the inside
(which she doesn't realize).
she is super duper bigtime watch-out-honey this-is-gonna-hurt
pissed.

and no one speaks to her for a few minutes
because
well
because they know better.
and no one tries to help
because
they've seen this before.
and everyone just waits
because eventually
she
will
blow.

and when she does, she will send flames shooting up the walls / she will scratch the paint off the coffee table / she will rip up the curtains with her incisors and crunch gravel with her molar teeth.

after all that
she will stop.
and maybe cry a little bit.
or a lot.

because she knows that she's made a mistake.
she is the one who screwed this up.
she is the one to blame.

and because no one is harder on her than she is on herself,
this makes her skin feel hot and her head feel like it's crammed very very full of those little styrofoam peanuts,
and it will take her a long time to get to

i'm sorry.